It may ” take a tough man to make a tender bird ” per Frank Perdue. But I’m no chicken – to go to a kids musical performance on Friday night. Catching up with a dear friend over good cigars, or an evening with my wife, her friend and her little boy. I chose wisely.
My wife knew I would.
Suessical is a sold-out show for every performance. And I do like Green eggs n ham — it’s a military thing.
Lessons for a Thriving Marriage:
 |
| the author and his beautiful wif |
Long before I made Jesus Lord, and before I married the woman I adore, I was married before. In my late twenties, before I made the Navy a career, I was married and divorced for a complex history of unpleasantness. Unlike today, I then had few positive role models and no spiritual understanding of the marital relationship.
But at the age of 41, after three years of dating “pure” (that is, guarding her honor with no intimate contact) and a fundamental shift in my character, I married the love of my life. It was work from the very beginning. With both of us previously married, we knew how difficult and painful a lazy, un-spiritual and self-centered marriage might be.
 |
|
anything worthwhile takes training and effort
|
Christian marriages will not fare better than relationships that are not Christ-centered without Christ remaining at the heart of our relationship. But every endeavor needs role-models and training. And that is the same with our marriages. which brings me to the subject today of a wonderful Marriage Workshop: Let Love Grow.
The couple that spoke to us that afternoon have been married thirty-three years and have counseled hundreds of Christian marriages. Without a Jesus-centered life, the lessons they shared – some basically were lessons derived from the mistakes they made – would be difficult to understand absent a faith-based approach. As two people who form a union from two individuals with different experiences, habits, expectations, and upbringing, to be successful requires work, compassion, adaptability, and selflessness.
Here are some points made today:
 |
|
Great marriages take faith, forgiveness, selflessness and prayer
|
Most of us did not have good role models from our parents’ marriage to build upon. Marriage is not innately something we can go from self-serving, complicated individuals to a union of two thriving as one.
Marriage is more than compatibility, and more than a human invention for financial or domestic stability. When spouses commit God as our authority, the Bible is treated as living and active; we seek improvement through study and application, and husband and wife have as a main purpose to help the other to get to Heaven.
A FOOL’S MARRIAGE TIP: If it’s Wednesday. it’s”business time” .
Learn from others’ mistakes about marriage. Marriage cannot be ‘winged’ successfully. Get a lot of advice from those who have had spiritually strong, long-term marriage. And learn to put these observations into practice:
- NO reaction is BETTER than a BAD REACTION. “Watch your tongue and keep your mouth shut, and you will stay out of trouble”. Proverbs 21:23 (NLT)
- Increase your GRATITUDE FOR YOUR SPOUSE. ” Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil – this is a gift of God. They seldom reflect on the days of their life, because God keeps them occupied with gladness of heart.” Ecclesiastes 3: 19-20
- Look for the GOOD and SHARE it generously. “Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right, Think about things that are pure and lovely and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about.” Philippians 4:8 (TLB)
- Examine your EXPECTATIONS. “Because of the Lord’s great love, we are not consumed, for his compassion never fails. They are new every morning, great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, “The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.” Lamentations 3:22 -24
- Learn to PRAY for wisdom first in the (heated) moment. “Pray with all prayers and with all desires always in the Spirit and be watching with him in prayer every moment as you pray constantly and make supplications for the sake of all the Holy Ones.” Ephesians 6:18 (ABPE)
- Seek to UNDERSTAND more than to be UNDERSTOOD. “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” James 1:19 -20
- HIDDEN anger can be just as bad as anger EXPRESSED. “A man with hate in his heart may sound pleasant enough, bo don’t believe him for he is cursing you in his heart. Though he pretends to be so kind, his hatred will finally come to light for all to see.” Proverbs 26: 24 -26 (TLB)
- Learn from older, more experienced role models. “ Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.” Titus 2: 3 -5
With a renewed understanding of marriage and how to avoid the pitfalls described above, the sexual relationship is the glue which binds a thriving marriage. Giving to one another in a positive, loving and fun marital bed has been fundamental to healthy marriages. If a married couple, however long they have been married, can seek to understand and apply these life lessons and have a foundation such as described here, how many marriages would be thriving !
Speakers: Bob and Barb Harpole, Los Angeles Church of Christ
Recommended reading: The Marriage Go-Round by Andrew J, Cherlin
Without the Outlaw, there’s no Gun in Gunsmoke
Gunslinger politics
According to highly disreputable sources, Vladimir Putin, erstwhile KGB spymaster, first thought about becoming President of Russia when he met Ronald Reagan. A fan of the Gipper’s Western movie classics, he modeled his rise to power in the same fashion. RR lead the Screen Actors Guild as President twice; VP lead the Russian Federation twice as President – and as Premier, in the intervening years. President Reagan lead California; VP lead the KGB which employed as many spies and “apparatchiks” as the California bureaucracy. And in his travels, he was photographed on horseback, gifted with a cowboy hat, and met with influential people. And met also with politicians in America.
 |
| Vladimir Putin (“fan”). at left (1988) |
The drama since the election of 2016 seems to recall the Wild West movies with Gary Cooper, Robert Mitchum, or John Wayne I watched in the 1960s and 70s. There’s a rough and tumble territory being carved up between the natives, settlers, Good Guys and Bad Guys. The Russian President, is like the card-playing, six-gun toting, ruffian who reads weaknesses in the go-along-to-get-along townspeople he has exploited before. In place of Dodge City and and Tombstone, Putin rode into the Crimea, Ukraine, and Syria, and left his mark. The last Territorial Marshall was a lot of talk but slow on the draw.
I hope this Western will play well to audiences. WIth all the outlaws, cheats and desperados in the world, we need them out of our local, state and Federal Government. Given the chance, Donald Trump may yet prove to be the Fastest Gun in the West.
AUTHOR’s NOTE: a good script is revised often before the movie is produced; sometimes the author and sometimes the audience wants to re-do a scene or even the entire film. I have to admit that this re-release is improved.
Post -Apocalypse
The end of the world is coming. And I don’t think it is going to be a Mad Max franchise movie. The rival factions:
- the Fascists want everything to be “safe” and “fair”; everyone will follow what others dictate is good for them. There is room for discussion as long as everyone believes in the ONE direction.
- the Utopians (formerly marxist) want everyone to believe anything they want. As long as it is not christian. They are prohibited. Oh, and not the Jews. Peace through strict re-education. Moral code is based on science; the spiritual is obsolete.
- the Bureaucrats want everything run through policy handbooks. procedures, and committees. “results-oriented” and efficient are not pertinent. Enlarging the scope and budget of the bureaucracy is its purpose.
- the Media want to be a power-player. the governed will receive no divergent opinion or fact to cause a lack of trust. All approved consumerism is channeled to the public through Media which takes its cut.
- half of the people want the world to see they are inoffensive, not self-seeking and are tolerant; the other half of the people want to be left alone to pursue the American Dream, raise their family, teach their children and live with some hope for the future.
Give me the Good Book, rugged good looks, antagonists, and a Spiritual Plan. Sounds a bit like a Denzel Washington role already done
Sympathy Pain in the (Back)
I don’t care if Fifty is the “new Thirty”! That’s the nonsense that the younger men palaver on about as they don’t want to think about the things they cannot do as well when they are north of age 35. Over breakfast today, I was able to revel in stories of working at heights 22 years ago. My wife and I joined another couple at a breakfast cafe that is popular with those who qualify for a senior’s discount.
We all talked about things we had done – or chosen not to do in our youth. One of these, we husbands opined, was working at heights. I didn’t have time to fear heights, as my responsibilities on a Navy ship included going up a hundred-foot mast to work on communications equipment.. After a morning hike with other guys in my church group, and getting the dogs walked at the same time- I was energized and having breakfast with this couple was a fine way to relax this weekend. Even my back pain which I joked was a ‘sympathy’ pain to my wife’s discomfort, may have been insensitive. Three of the four of us were engaged and enjoying the morning.
I looked over at my wife. She was looking pale and unfocused. A visit to the doctor yesterday – and a scolding about not coming in sooner for an exam had revealed that she had injured it. A couple of weeks ago, both of us were recovering from bad, lingering colds and congestion. A severe cough was enough for her to wrench her lower back. You have to understand that my wife is an R.N. Where I would be ill and go to the clinic or the E.R. – a nurse will choose to rest — unless the injury is life-threatening. Severed-limb -level. A little Tylenol and a bandage for her. Morphine for me. However, Sheri asked me for the car keys and wanted to go lie down till the nausea went away.
So anyone who has not been working out consistently since they were still carded to get into bars and clubs, the nonsense about youth now lasting into your fifth or sixth decade – is just so much talk,
Pass the Vicodin. Or perhaps when I next lift a ninety pound sack of concrete mix, I too may be on the couch with heating pad and a glass of red wine.
Give me Liberty, or really something Huge
Where are the great orators today?
While some men are able to rise to highest office by a message that rings true for a great many Americans, no one attests to President Trump’s orator credentials. Patrick Henry, firebrand and patriot, stirred Virginia men to oppose the British monarchy in 1775. When the Constitution was being drafted, his critique of centralized power lead to the Bill of Rights.
Incredibly, the United States has few today that rise to the level of public speaking that developed in the crucible of discord. But after two decades of control exerted by a duopoly of Big Media and central government, people have an opportunity to have their voice heard and acted upon. And one man’s Twitter feed moves others to action.
It was a fine day to be toasted
Britain must have a dearth of good news today, Or they celebrate a boring day with the dry wit the Brits are known for. Today was “National Toast Day” I learned from scanning Facebook. As I am waiting for the ‘Calming Tea’ to make me sleepy, I just had to comment.
Sure enough there are several references online to this day! And not being particularly imaginative this evening — it was a LONG day at work and commuting was — well, let’s just say I ended up at home feeling like, you guessed it dear reader, TOAST!
And oddly enough, this was the first day I brought a loaf of bread, wheat bread, to work. You cannot get toast – and no slices of bread separate unto themselves, at our work cafeteria at any time other than breakfast. So here I am this morning, in ignorant abandon, having toast.
Good think I didn’t try asking for it like acting legend, Jack Nicholson.
As a man in his late 50’s, I recall this scene if not necessarily the whole movie. But anytime I have a little difficulty with an order or request, I am tempted to get flippant and ask for plain, dry toast.
Such an odd day to ponder other uses for a baked good.
From DICTIONARY.COM: . Idioms
be toast, Slang. to be doomed, ruined, or in trouble:
If you’re late to work again,
you’re toast
After all this, I would rather just drink a toast to the approaching Friday. The weekend is almost here. To make it through tomorrow, Friday, I will need a little nightcap. Though my spouse is asleep, I will raise a glass of my favorite beverage in her honor. For I don’t drink alone…
that’s a TOAST
Squirrels underfoot
SQUIRRELS UNDERFOOT
Finding peace in the nut-house
When is it Camping Season again?
It is not safe to hold political, social, or religious opinions in the United States anymore. Unless you know you are among like-minded people. A hundred times, I started to put down my ideas in a blog as to the nature of one polarized camp’s arguments, but with each review, I realize that either the ones holding contrary views will get offended, hurt, angry or recalcitrant.
It was good to put the misgivings, concerns and questions about the social, economic, religious and constitutional future of this country to ‘paper’. I got it out of my system – unless I know I am among like-minded people, it will only create disharmony.
Camping is not for everybody
No one has come to blows, had families stop seeing one another, marched in the streets or called for politicians to be thrown out, over camping. Spouses may choose to remain home or find comfortable accommodations rather than share a tent. but rare for divorce to occur over it — At least I am unaware of this.
Go Camping
Go out in the fresh air, the altitude, the granite cliffs, and among the trees older that the arguments that people wrestle with since our country’s founding. Trees, assuming fire or disease does not destroy them ,outlast the petty squabbles of humanity. The water falling over the cliffs at Yosemite may have started as a mist in Japan flowing into the sea, Near California that same droplets evaporate and are blown over the Sierra to fall as snow at the source of the Merced. This may have gone on for ten thousand years regardless of drought policy and endangered species acts. It makes camping awe-inspiring and people’s squabbles less significant.
My Valentine’s Desires are TRX, a speed bag, and lots of Tiger Balm
Acceptable Responses Of a Smart Husband
- When your wife starts a “Bootcamp” workout, waking at 4:30 AM:
- YOU are awesome, honey!
- You are really looking good.
- I’ll get up with you… just let me rest my eyes for a minute
- When she offers to make you a ‘kale-berry-kefir-peanut butter’ smoothie:
- Just a little one, my stomach is upset this morning
- I will have it after I walk the dogs
- Actually, I had the leftover Quinoa in the fridge
- When she asks you to set up a TRX / workout bag in the spare bedroom:
- I just ordered it on Amazon
- I had nothing planned on Saturday, so I put it together
- My buddy Greg is coming over tonight to bolt it to the floor
- When she says “Let’s stay home” on Valentine’s Day; you can barbecue some steaks”
- You are the best wife in the world!
- You have cooked amazing this week, I would love to
- It would be crazy to go out tonight anyway
- I just ordered it on Amazon
- I had nothing planned on Saturday, so I put it together
- My buddy Greg is coming over tonight to bolt it to the floor
- You are the best wife in the world!
- You have cooked amazing this week, I would love to
- It would be crazy to go out tonight anyway
Parrots in search of a Pirate
Seven years ago this month I performed my last Drill Weekend with the Navy Reserve. I was retiring after almost 26 years of Active and Reserve service. Several of my peers where I work today, Navy veterans all, greet me with “Chief” or “Senior Chief”, One of my favorite people is a formerly active (NEVER call them former) Marine who participates all year long in Pirate-themed public events. At other times and places, love to engage in sea stories with with among others, a friend who served in the Navy fifty years ago.
So the Navy was good to me.
These days I supplement my working hours, church meetings and some political engaging on Facebook, with the dubious and infrequent bit of wisdom I can impart to family and the public at large through blogging.
Some of my best ideas germinate from twice daily walks with my dogs Dexter and Comet. This week, I wrote about such topics as dealing with weeds, weather, dog behavior and so on. But it was a bird, or rather a flock of birds that got my thinking cap on.
The annual ‘migration’ of parrots to my neighborhood (they actually live in San Diego year round) noisily began this week. These are descended from escapees from a pet store many ago; over the years I have seen them in various communities of east San Diego County. On this particular occasion, Monday, all the squawking and fluttering of wings began about 6:30 in the morning; it grabbed the attention of one of my dogs (the other was “focused” on his morning constitutional). If it were not for my need to get my work commute started, Dexter would have just stood there watching the tumult for quite some time.
So, today at lunch, I was reading from one of my favorite military humor websites, The Sitrep, when I happened to read an article and watch the video of a little parrot that wanted to join the Navy.
Looney Tunes.
With adult eyes and the experience of a few decades, I can understand why these cartoons may have disappeared. The themes were as much ‘adult’ as they were to entertain kids. Twenty-five years ago prior to an entire generation being raised on Family Guy, the cartoon had been rather tame. But entertainment today is an endless supply of melodrama and human caricatures on cable television.
However, it does an old Sea Dog ‘s heart good to chuckle with a cartoon. Perhaps the pirating life has not dimmed entirely for me.
Picasso’s remedy for dust
Art washes away from the soul, the dust of everyday life
-Pablo Picasso
 |
| Lascaux caves, France |
Some twenty thousand years ago, in the caves near present-day Lascaux, France our Homo Sapien ancestors rendered images of their world on the walls.
We know from the fossil record that life was very difficult for the hunter-gather. While there is evidence that these dwellers and their ancestors may have had some rudimentary cultural and religious practices, and required some level of sophistication to organize hunting, we cannot imagine that they had much time to devote to things that were not involved in survival.
 |
| Babylonian Empire |
Perhaps six thousand years ago, the first signs of civilization, when people started to settle by water sources, and started to develop farming and animal herding seemed to also develop politics, divine authority, and warfare. From the ancient records, we know that art seemed to be dedicated to glorifying battles, conquests and religious ceremonial centers. Then the Greeks and the Romans later refined war, as well as art , politics and literature
 |
| Henry VIII |
In the Renaissance period, Europe, twelve hundred years after the last gasps of the Roman Empire, art rediscovered perspective, the natural world and portraiture. Still, most art were renderings of Christian religious significance. Curiously, every subject in paintings of Jesus, His disciples and those who followed Him were all clothed in the garb of the artist’s day. And they were all white, Western European-looking folk.
 |
| Picasso |
In the first half of the Twentieth Century, post-modernism, and unconventional representations of the world around us were popular, War as an art was practiced and nearly perfected. That civilization could simultaneously express such a dissonance in culture, in art, in science, in technology,with positive benefits to humanity; and on the other side, War, genocide, and political disunity and civil war should have alarmed more people. But basic necessities, even survival in many parts of the world was always an afterthought to the more sophisticated world. Strangely, the only institution having a positive impact on the inhumanity of man for man, the Christian church, also became the focus of hatred and symbolism that were fundamental in world history began to be replaced with a multi-culturalism and loathing of the American democratic experiment of 200 years.
 |
| David Choe |
Since 2000, Terrorism based on warped ideology and Western hypersensitivity to ideas has pervaded the culture of half of the world. Truth has no foundation in fact. Emotions are manipulated in short staccato bursts of Twitter and Facebook. People are indoctrinated to live according to principles that have no room for any discussion. Enemies who were once friends don’t even study what they disagree on. With the tumult, disunity, and even chaos, in a Post-Truth world, there is even greater need for art to wash the filth of the world away on a daily basis.
When the going gets tough, check for gas
Gasoline. The word itself conjures up a range of emotions. ” it’s too dang expensive these days. I remember when it cost….” The gasoline engine is “outdated”; electric “green” energy is the “wave of the future”. But every kid and every adult who does not reside in the New York, Boston, Chicago megapolis, needs an automobile to get around. California which prides itself today on guilting its residents’ emotions while bleeding its residents dry not least of which with fuel taxes, was the main reason for the expansion of the car and highway industry.
I use gasoline in my old Ford Ranger. Jf it were running today, my Honda Civic would use gasoline more efficiently, A third car, a Kia is the needed transportation for my spouse. For neigbbors of ours, diesel may be a close second and for some friends, the popular Prius hybrid electric may be an interesting experiment, but gasoline is still the main fuel for getting about. And thats why I’m obsessing today over gasoline. Citgo, USA, ExxonMobil, Shell. Any would do. I ran low on gas coming home the other evening and the truck choked, harumphed and died in my driveway. The center of my driveway – where it sat embarrassingly for a day.
First I thought it might be a clogged fuel line or filter. Then last night I got the five gallon gas container and made a trip to the gas station at the 7-Eleven. And dear reader, you guessed it, Sometimes the needle on the gauge lies. Not an eighth of a tank…. EMPTY. It started right up once the motor had sufficient gas to run!!!!
Truths, Half-truths, and Sea Stories 
